Loving-kindness, Metta, Vulnerability, Compassion, and Bravery.


Or, in other words, how to love yourself and others.

Any being who’s experienced emotions knows that, instead of you experiencing the emotions, sometime your emotions are experiencing you. Many religions and philosophies throughout history have taught that we should learn to be a witness, stepping back and not letting our emotions get in the way of rational thinking. Some even go so far as to say that we should become friendly with our emotions, get to know them, and therefore come to know when they are arising, recognize what it is, and stop yourself from feeling it. What I’m wondering, is what happens if you stop yourself from feeling emotions? Despite the fact that it must be extremely hard if not impossible to not feel any emotions, if we have evolved as the only beings that can recognize that we are feeling an emotion, should we embrace this? I’m not saying that we should let ourselves become overwhelmed with our emotions, but be able to step aside and let them coexist with us.

One of the most basic emotions I can think of is fear. For millennia fear has warned prey that there is a predator close by. These days, humans tend to be the predators more often then not, but in many cases fear has saved lives. It is a basic instinct. I’d go so far as to say that it is necessary to the survival of any living being. So, if a negative emotion such as fear can be such a good thing, what other emotions are necessary? I’d argue that love is necessary, as without love we couldn’t exist together peacefully. (Some would argue here that you can’t feel love without having felt hate, but I’d like to politely disagree. In my studies of metta meditation (loving-kindness), I’ve come to learn that even in hate there can exist a certain kind of love. I could go into this in detail, but that’s a whole other entry). But, there are three other emotions that I think are also necessary (among, likely, others) that I’d like to go into here: vulnerability, bravery, and compassion.

In my understanding of vulnerability, which differs greatly from the common definition of ‘weakness’, it seems that a vulnerability is a place for growth, connection, and individuality. I’d go so far as to argue that without vulnerabilities we would all be the same. Most people think of a vulnerability as a potential for harm, either physical or emotional. But, it’s only a potential for harm if there is something to be harmed by. Some would argue here that death is a vulnerability – but this is not so, as we all die. There cannot be life without death – and this does not make us weak. If anything, this should make us stronger as we realize that our time on this plane is limited and that we should spend the time we have with our loved ones with as happy an outlook that we can. We all have suffering in our life that can either be caused from, or create vulnerabilities. But, suffering is inevitable as we live in physical bodies that manifest physical emotions that don’t always coincide with the emotions of others. In my own experience, all suffering that I’ve endured has taught me more, and opened me up to more than I ever would have experienced had I avoided the suffering. Because we are never the same people from one moment to the next, let alone one lifetime to the next, we can’t possibly avoid suffering. Our cells are continuously dying and birthing, rewriting itself and changing in minuscule ways. Our bodies are always aging, our minds always growing. If we can look at this cycle of life and death, suffering and growth, as a positive life experience, we can fully embrace ourselves and each other for the way we are – our true beings – without shame. In doing this, we are actually eliminating much of our suffering.

Which leads us to compassion. If all beings have even a slice of compassion in them, then there is no need for a vulnerability to be a weakness. Instead of being shameful of your vulnerabilities, let them show so that people can get to know who you are, and love you for who you are. A vulnerability could be a broken heart, a broken bone, a bullied soul, amongst various other things not even a fraction of which I could name here. All of these things do heal when given the proper environment. Compassion is that environment. To give compassion shows humbleness, selflessness, and empathy. To be able to receive compassion shows even greater strength and trust, as you are letting the person see your soul. With this connection, we are able to communicate clearly, have stronger relationships, and end suffering all over the world. And, when I say compassion, I don’t mean in the form of money. I mean, opening your heart to the suffering of others; realizing that they suffer just as you do, and allowing them to experience it however they may without judgement. Compassion is so strong an emotion, and an action, that even if you open if up to one person a day you’d be doing yourself a huge favor, and helping those around you, even if just by setting an example. You never know what people are going through, or why they are acting the way they are. Don’t take their actions personally, as most of the time they aren’t reacting to something you did, but rather projecting their feelings from something that happened earlier onto you.

This brings us to bravery. In order to surrender yourself to someone – showing them your vulnerabilities, sending out your compassion, and trusting them to treat you with compassion – shows great bravery and courage (I use these two words simultaneously, as I think that backing down from a battle shows just as great, if not greater bravery and courage than running into it head-first). By opening yourself to them you are placing trust into their hands and hoping they won’t throw it back at you or drop it to the ground to stomp on it. I can guarantee you that they will recognize this, even if they don’t know they do, and they will treat you with respect and trust in return. Now, everyone’s capacity for respect and trust is different, so it may not seem so obvious to you that they are reciprocating, but every time they are given the opportunity to grow into that compassion, vulnerable environment, they are given an extra pull up the mountain, where at the top lays true trust, respect, and friendship. An exercise I would like you to try in order to practice bravery is to look into the eyes of all the strangers that pass you with acceptance. Don’t judge them. Don’t assume that you know what they are going through or why they are acting the way they are. Don’t assume that they are judging you. Let there be a complete exchange of introductions – how you really want people to know you, “Hi, my name is _____ and I see the good in you, and accept you for who you are.” See what happens in return – how many people’s faces will soften, aura’s will shift, and how many true connections you can make. Now, this isn’t a contest – the number doesn’t matter – but you will be surprised how many people are looking desperately for that kind of acknowledgement and kindness. Be brave – stick your foot out first, and see how many people catch you.

If we can give and receive these three things we would have very strong, trusting, and safe relationships – be them love, friendship, family, or connections with complete strangers. If we can accept ourselves enough to let our vulnerabilities shine through, show compassion even when all we want to do is lash out, and do this all with courage – imagine how much happier we would be. If we embrace the practice of separating our selves from our emotions and stopping them from happening, how can we exist as a co-dependent species? If we can accept our emotions, recognize when they are arising and why, and learn to scoot over and let them have a seat on the pillow beside us, then we can have a conversation with them, instead of trying to become them.

What do you think?

Shintoism: Kami and One-ness Intro Notes


Once a month I host a discussion at Sengoku Japan, and the topics are rotating around ancient Japanese philosophy (since that is the theme of the sim). So far we have only talked about Shintoism, but I intend to focus on ethics and politics and other philosophies from that era. Anyway, here is an intro to Kami and the idea of one-ness.

Kami and One-ness

The Meriam-Webster dictionary describes Kami as a sacred power or force. “…one of the Shinto deities including mythological beings, spirits of distinguished men, and forces of nature.”

http://www.onmarkproductions.com/html/shinto-priesthood.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miko

“In Shinto religion every object of nature has a soul, even mountains, rivers, lightning, wind, waves, trees and rocks for instance. Stemming from this belief naturally flows the strict practice to only use natural materials as wood, paper, silk, cotton and laquer (made from the resin of trees).

…each season other flowers bloom and Shinto follows these changing colours through the seasons, specially when it comes to clothing. A Shinto priest, for instance, owns many different robes, for each season an other set. Priests wear the traditional robes every day, and wear different ones with special ceremonies.”

http://sokyoto.blogspot.ca/2012/07/a-personal-introduction-to-traditional.html

“When entering inside a Shinto shrine, the visitor should perform a symbolic cleansing called temizu (from te “hand” and mizu “water” – water to purify the hands). This purification is considered indispensable before visiting the sacred area and it signifies the removal of evil and pollution. For the ritual, every shrine provides an ablution pavilion – chōzuya or temizuya – usually a stone basin filled with clear water, with wooden ladles.

How to properly perform temizu:

Take the ladle with your right hand, fill it with water and pour some water to rinse your left hand. Then, move the ladle to your left hand and pour water over the right hand.
Now, you take again the ladle into your right hand, cup the left hand, pour some water into it and use it to rinse your mouth.
Finally, repeat the rinsing of the left hand and place the ladle back.”

http://muza-chan.net/japan/index.php/blog/japanese-shrine-etiquette-how-to-do-temizu

“The Shintō pantheon of kami 神 (spirits) includes countless deities and innumerable supernatural creatures. The term KAMI can refer to gods, goddesses, ancestors, and all variety of spirits that inhabit the water, rocks, trees, grass, and other natural objects. These objects are not symbols of the spirits. Rather, they are the abodes in which the spirits reside.”http://www.onmarkproductions.com/html/shinto-deities.html

Language as Inhibitor Intro Notes


Looks like I’ve missed posting a bunch of intro notes so the blog will be busy today!

On Tuesday March 12 I hosted a discussion about language as inhibitor. I will reiterate that the general consensus was that language is a very useful tool that can be a struggle to interpret – but as long as we confirm with the person we are communicating through asking questions what it is they mean communication can be quite effective. Also, I want to note that a statistic was introduced by a very good friend, Merlin, stating that 70% of sound is outgoing, and only 30% is incoming. This means that we have evolved to hear ourselves more than to hear others. Fascinating!

Language as Inhibitor

It is important to think about how you say things, versus just what you say. When communicating with others we take into account not only their words, but their tone, structure, volume, pitch, and non-verbal language, among other things. Between all of these things it is easy to get mixed signals, or interpret something in the wrong way.

Let’s start with a short description of language…

“Language is the human capacity for acquiring and using complex systems of communication, and a language is any specific example of such a system.” – Wikipedia

And, complex it is. To demonstrate, I’ll send you a link to the Abbott and Costello skit called, “Who’s on first?”. If you can’t see it here, then you should be able to see it on your own computer. It’s about 6 minutes long. You don’t have to watch the whole thing as you’ll get the idea pretty quickly. It demonstrates the issues when one persons’ meaning is not the same as someone else’s.

According to Bertrand Russell, “no one can understand the word ‘cheese’ unless he has a nonlinguistic acquaintance with cheese.”

Language is used to communicate abstract ideas in a manner in which the person you’re trying to communicate them to can understand. This means that both parties need to have a mutual understanding of the intended meaning of the words you’re using, but, alas, this is not always the case. Plato had a theory of forms, that explains that there is a basic idea or concept of what certain things are. For instance, if I say “dog”, you all have a picture in your mind of what that is. But, a dog can be broken down into various different breeds, body parts, and attitudes that are also then distinguishable by a form, ie. bone, hyper, Poodle. Another example is the word “love.” We don’t have a solid definition of what it is, but we have a concept of what it is, and we can translate it into another sign or reword it into something more relate-able. Same with “happiness.” If someone is unfamiliar with these forms, all of our communication is moot.

The questions I want us to explore today are:
Is there a better way for us to communicate?
How can we ensure that those we are communicating with are understanding our true meaning?
and the big one…
Is language an inhibitor to our communication?

We’ll go around the circle, starting to my left today, and everyone will get a turn to share. If you would like to pass you may, but if you have something to share you can feel free to do it in either text or voice, or both. If you are sharing in text, I will read your contribution on voice so everyone has the ability to participate.

Impromptu Discussion “The Power of Vulnerability”


This morning I sent an notice, not really expecting anyone to show up:

Good morning everyone! I’m sitting at the teahaus watching Brene Brown’s video “The Power of Vulnerability” and thought I’d host an impromptu discussion about vulnerability. Come join me! 

…This is what came of it:

(There is a notecard mentioned, given to me by Sedona. She is offline so I haven’t received her permission to post it here, so perhaps I will post it at a later date.)

Chraeloos: So, make yourselves comfortable, feel free to have some tea if you’d like 🙂

Chraeloos: The video is running on the screen behind me, you can also open it in your browser if its easier

Chraeloos: Wow, everyone has notecards about this already haha

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): I don’t!

Chraeloos: haha well let me send you one

Chraeloos: Good morning Kelian 🙂

Wisdomseeker (lissena): please send me one too

Kelian Chayoo: Good morning

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): Thank you 🙂

Chraeloos: most welcome

Chraeloos: would anyone else like a notecard?

Kelian Chayoo: yes please

Wisdomseeker (lissena): yes

Chraeloos: The notecards were written by a great friend Sedona

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): Oh, I see….I had no idea what “the power” of vulnerability could be…but allowing our vulnerability to be seen can foster intimacy, too 🙂

Chraeloos: Exactly Vi – and letting go of shame. So many people feel that they aren’t worthy of love. But, if you can’t fully give yourself to your partner, how can you love them?

Chraeloos: I think it is so important to recognize that vulnerability is what makes us human. It isn’t a weakness, but a place for character and learning and growth, in the sense that we can learn from each others vulnerabilities

Chraeloos: If we didn’t have vulnerabilities, how would we interact? We’d all be exactly the same. How boring!

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): (I like what she says early on about “Life is messy–clean it up” vs. “Life is messy–love it”

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): )

Chraeloos: haha, right? She is hilarious and so true

Chraeloos: Really, aren’t us humans messy? Aren’t we all experiencing something in every moment? Whether it has a good or bad affect, it still influences us and perhaps how we treat others

Chraeloos: And, the notecard explains that we think of vulnerability as “no protection”, but what do we have to be protected from? If we can open up and accept ourselves the way we are, it shows great strength, not vulnerability.

Kelian Chayoo: Oh! I have to run. Excuse me everyone

Chraeloos: take good care Kelian, thank you for stopping by 🙂

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): Take care, Kelian!

Kelian Chayoo: Thanks, and bye

Chraeloos: Hm, this leads me to bravery. I don’t think bravery is running into battle despite all costs – I think bravery is being able to step away from it without feeling shame. Recognizing when something is too much and letting it go. Accepting responcibility

Chraeloos: Good morning druth 🙂

Chraeloos: Good mornign Catrina 🙂

Chraeloos: morning*

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): This reminds me of some stuff by Susan Johnson, a relationship researcher… “The power of attachment, emotions and needs are such that even partners who’ve never known safe loving responsiveness from others, or have been violated by those they depended on, will still risk reaching out for care. And even if partners see their lover as scared and vulnerable, they can access a protective empathy that even they didn’t know they possessed.”

Chraeloos: Ah, very nice point Vi

Ari (arisia.vita): Weakness prevails over strength–gentleness conquers. Become the calm and restful breeze that tames the violent sea.

Chraeloos: Ari – beautifully said

Chraeloos: Why see vulnerability as negative? Why not open up to it and let it become you?

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): Mm…I like that, Ari 🙂

Chraeloos: Please help yourselves to a tea if you’d like, and if you have media activated the video is on the screen behind me, or you can open it in your own browser if you’d prefer

druth Vlodovic: I’ve seen it before

druth Vlodovic: an interesting talk

Chraeloos: /me nods at Druth.

Chraeloos: It got me thinking haha

Chraeloos: if we all let more vulnerability into our lives, would that make us better people?

druth Vlodovic: I’ve always thought that people who are tough and invulnerable are really displaying fear and weakness

Chraeloos: what affect would it have on our relationships? Jobs?

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): Me too, Druth.

Chraeloos: Druth, interesting! Like creating a shield?

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): The world could do with more tenderness for sure

Chraeloos: LIke bullies…

Chraeloos: /me nods at Vi.

Chraeloos: I think so too

druth Vlodovic: jobs? we’d become more interested in accomplishing our work and less on politics

Chraeloos: Ah, good point

druth Vlodovic: shields are a good idea if you exlect to be attacked

Chraeloos: Perhaps we’d be more (sorry to use a Buddhist term, but I cna’t think of a better one) mindful about all our actions

Chraeloos: druth – exactly. Why do we expect to be attacked all the time?

Catrinamonblue: fear of pain

Catrinamonblue: hurt

druth Vlodovic: but a fellow I know who worked with the american navy pointed out that once you’ve spent allthis money and effort on destructive toys you can’tresist the urge to play with them

Chraeloos: Catrina – perhaps we have all felt pain before and we are afraid to face it?

Catrinamonblue: nods

Chraeloos: druth, well said

druth Vlodovic: setting your mind in a defensive pattern can be seen as creating battle toys

Ari (arisia.vita): from that example druth, I wish they had spent more money on “love toys” 🙂

Chraeloos: why do we shy away from pain and hurt? We know that we will experience at least once in our lives, even if its as small as a paper cut or as large as death. Isn’t is all an experience for growth and to see who your true friends are?

Chraeloos: Druth, yes, very true. You attract the way you think…

Chraeloos: Ari, yes!

Chraeloos: I believe the Buddha said, “All that we are is the result of what we have thought.” If we think defensively we are bound to encounter problems. Wehreas if we think tenderly we are bound to encounter love and friendship and ease.

Ari (arisia.vita): He also said…

Ari (arisia.vita): When life hurls stones at you, whether they be pebbles or boulders, remember that love is the great protector, protecting us from anger and jealousy, and from harm inflicted by spirits. When Buddha Shakyamuni was meditating under the Bodhi Tree he was attacked by all the terrifying demons of this world, but his love transformed their weapons into a rain of flowers. Ultimately our love will become the universal love of a Buddha, which actually has the power to bestow happiness on all living beings.

Chraeloos: Isn’t it true that when you love someone you love them for all the strengths and all their weaknesses? Whtether it’s family, friends, or a partner.

Chraeloos: Ari, beautiful

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): I think we learn too much bitterness and caution from pain, sometimes…that’s the “closing in” reaction Ran Prieur sometimes talks about; limiting our possibilities to limit our chances of being hurt again. We usually can learn empathy and compassion from hurt, too, though…that’s the “opening up” reaction–broadening our experiences to take in more beauty before us that helps us address the pain.

Catrinamonblue: Lovely Ari

Catrinamonblue: yes Professorette I agree

Chraeloos: Vi, well said

druth Vlodovic: “transforming their weapons to flowers” takes time we are afraid we won’thave before being hurt

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): 🙂 Ari

druth Vlodovic: but in the long term feuds never stop and only peace lasts

Chraeloos: HI Starhaeart 🙂

Chraeloos: wow sorry typoes haha

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): Hi Star

Friend of Trees (starheart.mcmasters): Hi

Friend of Trees (starheart.mcmasters): sorry to be so late

Chraeloos: Druth, time, good point. How long does it take to be able to face the hurt and pain we’ve experiences?

Chraeloos: No problem Star 🙂 You’re welcome any time

Chraeloos: Pardon me a moment irl, am going to move to the kitchen…may get booted in the meantime

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): Good luck!

Chraeloos: thanks…looks like I’m safe haha

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): That was a good talk…thanks for sharing, Chrae 🙂

druth Vlodovic: we have the time we give ourselves i guess

druth Vlodovic: but it takes tons of equanimity to be willing to pay the price over and over

Chraeloos: no problem, any time 🙂 haha

Chraeloos: druth, good point

druth Vlodovic: and tons more courage to face the potential costs which are usually much higher

Chraeloos: I’ve found in myself that it is so much easier to let the pain in and encounter it and then let it go rather than hold on to it and carry it around for years

Chraeloos: true

Chraeloos: I mean, get friendly with your emotions…haha

Chraeloos: why not let yourself experience what it is you feel?

druth Vlodovic: “make friends with suffering”

druth Vlodovic: when i first heard that i was horrified

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): That can be really difficult, but I agree….it’s usually best to allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling, even if it’s devastating…it’s usually better in the long term

Thє lovєlɣ Alíz: Nathalia (aliznathalia.raviprakash): that was lovely, thank you for hosting these wise words

Chraeloos: druth, haha yes I was too

Chraeloos: Aliz, most welcome, glad you could come

Chraeloos: Since this is impromptu there is no time limit, so feel free to stick around as long as you’d like

Chraeloos: Vi, very true. It can be devastating, and you can experience depths you never have before – which is where the bravery comes in. But the idea is to be the witness…realizing that there is a life ahead of you that doesn’t have to include this moment

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): “Sorrow isn’t something I want, but if it’s standing by my door, I’ll let it inside and love it like anything else.”….I wrote that in a letter to a friend; we were both going through very difficult things.

druth Vlodovic: in buddhism they talk about allowing suffering, and how it is good for people to suffer

Chraeloos: Vi, very well said! Thank you for sharing that

druth Vlodovic: ah,violet said it better than me 🙂

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): 😛

Chraeloos: Hm, I would disagree about it being good for people to suffer, but good to let it in sometimes for sure…I can see what you mean

Catrinamonblue: through suffering we come to kow what true joy is, you can’t have one without the other

Ari (arisia.vita): sorry for yet another quote, but they are coming freely today…

Ari (arisia.vita): The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Chraeloos: Catrina, agreed! Well said

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): It’s good to acknowledge that you are suffering.

druth Vlodovic: we get defensive because so often martyrdom is mixed with violence and mindlessness

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): 🙂 Ari

Chraeloos: No need to apologize Ari!

Catrinamonblue: Yes Ari exactly

Chraeloos: Druth, agreed

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): It’s good to acknowledge that others are suffering, too….it helps, to tell someone you see their vulnerability. It can be tricky to do, though, without poking them in tender spots..

Catrinamonblue: nods

Catrinamonblue: I been there and done that 🙂

druth Vlodovic: many good things are corrupted by those with agendas that it can be hard to know wisdom when you hear it

Chraeloos: people are funny with how “in the moment” they are – I mean, I work at our equivalent of a DMV, and people come in and get so mad becuase they owe fines…well, don’t speed…lol but they see it as a huge offense to them instead of seeing at something they caused

Chraeloos: Vi, yes very true. I like to practice that at work too – realizing that I don’t know what is happening in other peoples lives so can’t judge their reactions to things

Chraeloos: druth, agreed.

Chraeloos: Everyone has their own idea of right and wrong

druth Vlodovic: I suspect they are angry because they know they did wrong,but not “that” wrong and it irks them

druth Vlodovic: second arrow suffering 🙂

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): I do that out of habit, now, Chrae….even when people harrass me or act in willfully hurtful ways, I kind of reflexively assume THEY’RE in pain

Chraeloos: haha druth, well said

Chraeloos: Vi, yes me too

Chraeloos: its so much easier that way because you don’t take everything personally

Professorette Violet Ninetails (ataraxia.azemus): I need to get going, though….be well, everyone 🙂

Friend of Trees (starheart.mcmasters): compassion and empathy are sorely needed in our world

Friend of Trees (starheart.mcmasters): yes druth

Friend of Trees (starheart.mcmasters): I’m very laggy today

druth Vlodovic: “Forgive your enemies and it will be like heaping hot coals on their heads”

Friend of Trees (starheart.mcmasters): often saturdays

Chraeloos: Starheart, I agree completely that compassion and empathy are sorely needed

druth Vlodovic: a mangled quote from the bible somewhere 🙂

Ari (arisia.vita): better still, turn them into friends

Ari (arisia.vita): If I turn an enemy into a friend, have I not also destroyed my enemy? – Abraham Lincoln

Friend of Trees (starheart.mcmasters): “love your enemies, bless those that curse you”

Chraeloos: haha druth

druth Vlodovic: though I’m not sure it displays the right attitude, unless it is offered as a warning 🙂

druth Vlodovic: love the quote from Lincoln

Chraeloos: nice quotes

Ari (arisia.vita): one more…Kung Fu wisdom…

Ari (arisia.vita): Master: Vengeance is a water vessel with a hole. It carries nothing but the promise of emptiness.

Disciple: Shall I then repay injury always with kindness?

Master: Repay injury with justice and forgiveness, but kindness always with kindness.

Chraeloos: ah, well said!

Catrinamonblue: dispelling anger with compassion and understanding (or forgiveness) works so much better than reflective anger

druth Vlodovic: someday I need to get a reading list from ari 🙂

Chraeloos: catrina, so true

Ari (arisia.vita): you think I don’t remember all these? have them all in my head?….you are correct 🙂

druth Vlodovic: a reaction that is based on reason and compassion is usually more considered than one based on anger

Chraeloos: druth, yes lol agreed…Ari you should make one

druth Vlodovic: you still have to love yourself enough not to put up with too much though

Chraeloos: druth, yes! Realize when it is time to walk away

Catrinamonblue: nods

Friend of Trees (starheart.mcmasters): that may be the hardest thing to learn

Catrinamonblue: yes it is

Chraeloos: how do we open up others to the idea that vulnerability is not negative?

Chraeloos: yes, very true. Who wants to give something up?

druth Vlodovic: I remember when I was thinking about my moral: be good to people, when i suddeny l realized that I am people too!

Catrinamonblue: 🙂

Friend of Trees (starheart.mcmasters): you can feel compassion for the person, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep them or their behaviour in you life

druth Vlodovic: but being defensive isn’t really being good to yourself

Chraeloos: druth, well said

Ari (arisia.vita): you are a special people druth

Catrinamonblue: agreed

druth Vlodovic: ty 🙂

Friend of Trees (starheart.mcmasters): yes, its “love your neighbour AS YOURSELF”

druth Vlodovic: not more than

Chraeloos: starheart, true

druth Vlodovic: hence the idea that you can’t love others without loving yourself

druth Vlodovic: you can,but it often ends up being unhealthy

Chraeloos: yes, druth, exactly

Chraeloos: you can’t love others without loving yourself

Chraeloos: hm, looks like its getting time for Sims discussion, should we perhaps call this the end? Please feel free to stick around and come back with firends, this is an open sim..

druth Vlodovic: I figure it comesfromthe sort of politics required to raise big armies

druth Vlodovic: evolution is about the best survivor,rather than the best liver